Recently, we shared a post that said: “Kinda chic to stop apologizing for caring how you look.”

It resonated with so many women. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized there was a much bigger conversation behind those few words.

Because I care about how I look.

There. I said it.

I love skincare. I wear makeup. I get Botox. I love clothes and getting dressed. I like trying new treatments and products. I take care of my skin, and yes, I want it to look good.

And somewhere along the way, women, especially as we get older were made to feel like we're supposed to apologize for admitting any of that.

If you care too much about how you look, you're vain. If you get Botox or do a cosmetic treatment, you're trying too hard. If you want to look good as you get older, maybe you're not "embracing aging."

I don't buy that.

Taking care of how I look is part of how I take care of myself.

For me, skincare, makeup and clothes are fun. They're a form of self-care. Putting myself together in the morning makes me feel better. Taking ten minutes to do my makeup can change my mood. Getting dressed in something I love gives me a little boost. And frankly, all of it helps keep me sane.

It doesn't mean I don't accept my age. I do.

I'm not trying to be 25. I don't want to be 25. But I also don't understand why accepting that I'm getting older has to mean giving up the things that make me feel good about myself.

Those two things can exist at the same time.

You can accept your wrinkles and get Botox.

You can appreciate everything your body has done for you and still want to look great in your clothes.

You can be confident and still love makeup.

You can embrace getting older and still want great skin.

None of those things makes you less authentic.

And here's the other part of this that bothers me: why are we still judging other women for their choices?

Some women don't wear a stitch of makeup and have no interest in cosmetic treatments. Great.

Some have a 12-step skincare routine, get Botox, love fashion and wouldn't leave the house without lipstick. Also great.

Somewhere in between? Great.

At this age, haven't we earned the right to decide for ourselves?

Self-care looks different for everyone. For one person, it might be running five miles. For someone else, it's meditation, gardening, reading, getting her hair done, having dinner with friends—or spending an hour wandering around a beauty store trying things she absolutely does not need.

There shouldn't be a hierarchy of which forms of self-care are more worthy.

And caring about your appearance doesn't automatically mean you're doing it for other people.

For me, it's mostly the opposite.

I know how I feel when I catch myself in the mirror and think, I look good today. It's not about whether anyone else notices. I notice.

That's enough.

One of the things I actually love about getting older is caring less about what everyone else thinks. There's something incredibly freeing about reaching a point where you can say: this is what makes me happy. This is what makes me feel good. I'm doing it for me.

So get the Botox. Or don't.

Wear the makeup. Or don't.

Buy the dress. Use the expensive serum. Let your hair go gray. Color it every three weeks. Do absolutely nothing.

Just don't apologize for whichever version makes you feel most like yourself.

Because at this age, do whatever you want.

It's nobody's business.

And that's kinda chic.